Monday, November 30, 2009

How to Lose Followers and Alienate Tweeple

Just follow these 5 steps & you will be on your way to having no followers!


1> Tweet every thought that comes to your mind during the day.


I hate homework

This pencil tastes good!

My fingers are purple!

Please tell us everywhere your mind goes, we want to know!


2> Tweet Multiple times about your cat.


Bonka Bonka just bit me!!!!!

Quizi’s keeping me busy! She is just tooooooo cuuuttte!!

Smooshers Fat Cat is eating again!

So what. Just get you cat a twitter. Seriously.


3> Use all caps and many emo hearts


OMG WHAT DID KANYE DO AT THE VMA’S!!!!!!

WTF!!!!! MY PHONE GOT WET!! I <333333’ed>

Yup. All those caps & emo hearts really add to your message.


4> shorten everything


tks 4 da cd ppl! I rolflamo! Srsly.

I hav 2 go! Ttyl.

Everything is just so short. I know that’s the point on twitter but don’t go overboard!


5>merge all words and twitter together


Yeah all my tweeple are meeting for a tweetup at the twark.

If it weren’t for all this twaffic Id be at the twaffle by now.

I’d twait but I don’t want to be a twammer. The twalkers would like it tho.

This one gets irritating fast!


there you go. now get out there and lose some followers!

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